It happens every year. The day set aside to honor moms for their sleepless nights, sacrifices, dedication, and devotion all year kicks off with children bringing mom that good old breakfast in bed and handing them a homemade card or macaroni necklace. Then, the family gets dressed up and heads out to a lovely restaurant for a special brunch in celebration of moms everywhere.
No to brunch, no to macaroni necklaces, no to ANYTHING that requires me to mom on Mother’s Day.
Over the years, I’ve had a few people guffaw at me (yes, I said guffaw, it’s literally the only word to describe the reaction) when they heard me say I don’t want to spend Mother’s Day with my child. My response: You wanna work on Labor Day? No? Why would I want to Mom on Mother’s Day?
Fact is, most of us would rather not spend Mother’s Day with our children. Of course I can’t speak for all mothers, some want to spend their day with the human beings who gave them the title of Mother, aka SuperHero, in the first place. But the rest of us? Nope. Take those kids somewhere else please and thank you.
What do we want? Glad you asked.
Sleep, for the love of God, SLEEEEP
Time With Friends
Moms regularly complain that they don’t get to spend enough time with their friends. At some point, we resolved to only make friends with other people who had children so that we can have play dates which are partly for the kids, but aaaaalsoooo partly for us to hang around other adult human beings and possibly have wine :-). For Mother’s Day, we’d love some time to sip adult beverages and have uncensored adult conversations with our friends that are not interrupted every five minutes with “Mooooooom Kimmy won’t share her toys” or “Mooommmeeeee, I have to go potty” or “Maaaaaa, can we go home now?!?” Yep. I just want to be a grown-up woman who has conversations at normal volumes about things that are inappropriate for children to hear. Definitely not asking for a lot.
Pampering and Relaxing
Listen, this may surprise you but we really don’t know when’s the last time we got to use the toilet uninterrupted let alone enjoy a nice bubble bath. At some point we started sneaking nail appointments into our grocery store runs because it’s the only time we’re outside of our house without small people following us around. Massages? What are those? If you want to give me the ultimate Mother’s Day gift send me somewhere that is all about catering to me and my needs – a nice, relaxing spa. Not only are they going to focus on me, which is something I’ve likely failed to do all year, but they don’t allow children in there!! EUREKA! This is a two-fer guys and if you can make it a day with friends you just won Mother’s Day!
Want to win the entire year? Send me away, far away to a land where responsibilities and worries are placed on hold. Husbands and boyfriends are welcome on these trips, maybe. A trip with friends is great. A solo trip is a good gift too. Kids? Also a maybe. Mother’s Day trips with adult kids are fun…and they can buy us drinks! The great thing about a vacation is, it’s an opportunity to escape the day to day life and get back to being just a person.
Mom becomes such a huge part of who you are the moment you find out you’re becoming one. Its definition is so long that the words which defined you before motherhood get scrunched up and pushed to the back. Time away from “normal life” gives us the chance to get back to those things that described us before we became mothers – fun, daring, bold, carefree, spontaneous. It’s not always the case that these things become nonexistent with motherhood, but it is often the case that they become muted because we are required to spend so much time being SO many other things. A vacation is quite frankly one of THE best gifts we can get, according to our group of Wandering Moms. Don’t count on Calgon to take us away, let Delta do it! YASSS!!!!